My baby is 9 months old

Dear readers, my son is 9 months and thriving! His pediatrician says everything is on track for him and he’s at a healthy weight. We are struggling with a couple things, though. He is teething, which means less sleep for all of us, and waking up in the middle of the night; and, my neurological issue by the name of misophonia is making it difficult to be the mom I want to be.

Misophonia is a strong reaction to specific sounds. Misophonia may cause a reaction to sounds such as dripping water, chewing, snapping gum, or repetitive noises, such as pencil tapping. People with misophonia can become irritated, enraged, or even panicked when they hear their trigger sounds.

I’ve often heard people in misophonia Facebook groups say that neither babies nor animals trigger them. It’s because they can’t help it, and makes it easy to just ignore. For me, this is not the case.

When baby was just an infant, nothing he did triggered me–audially that is. I talk about textile issues in an earlier post. Now that he’s 9 months old, he’s started making sounds that send me into a rage. Allow me to be clear right now that I don’t harm my baby in any way when I am triggered.

Ever since he was about 5 months, he was teething. His front bottom two teeth came in, and now his top two are showing. He will grind them together and make other mouth sounds that I can’t stand. I won’t attempt to describe it. Feeding him is slightly difficult now too, as he will make loud gulping noises. Picking up leftover food grosses me out as well.

It’s all been very tiring. He is having trouble sleeping because of his teething. He wakes up in the middle of the night wanting comfort because his gums hurt, which messes up our sleep schedules and makes me grumpier and more prone to being triggered during the day.

He’s also learning to stand and gets mad because he can’t figure out how to lower himself down without falling. I’m trying my best to help him while also allowing him the opportunity to do it himself. He needs a lot more comfort from me and attention than normal. Independent play is harder for him than it usually was.

I find myself putting him in his crib and walking away to calm down a lot more often. Thankfully, he likes being in his crib and will entertain himself in there for a little while as I calm down.

If there’s anything I can’t relate to, it’s the phrase, “You’re going to miss this, cherish him while he’s little!” I do love my adorable little baby as he is but am excited to see him grow and learn and be able to communicate with me. And I know it will be hard when he develops his own ego, goes through his emotions and figures them out, and whatever else he’ll go through. But I’m looking forward to teaching him and letting him decide things on his own, within reason, until he’s an adult. I want to tell him about misophonia and what it is, and what he can do to help me, because right now he doesn’t know or understand, and I want so badly to just tell him.

I am trying to enjoy the little things as they happen. The milestones he reaches, his laughs, capturing memories on camera–I have over 500 pictures of and with him! Those, and my husband and family’s help, keep me going. I don’t know how I would have turned out as a mom without them.

To my son

On September 25, 2021, I gave birth to a 6 lb baby boy. My first child.

On March 25, 2022 he turned 6 months old. He barely fit into any of his clothes, and then one day, he outgrew half of them.

I realized I didn’t want to do anything that kept me away from you, so I decided to be a full time stay at home mom. I didn’t know what love between a mom and a child was until I made that decision. I’m fortunate to even have that decision to make. My bond with you only continues to grow.

Jared, you’re half a year old already. I’m excited to be present for your milestones and help you be the best you can be. Keep growing, learning, laughing, and smiling.

Mommy and Daddy


I didn’t know insurance could be so difficult to navigate through. In the past few days I’ve been scrambling to find an insurance plan that won’t break the bank and cover my prenatal/postnatal care. A lot of websites require a phone number to get a call from someone to talk about the plan and get a free quote. As someone who suffers from anxiety, this is less than ideal. I’ve been avoiding calls for the past three days from “spammers”, according to my caller ID app.

I’m off my mom’s insurance this July when I turn 26, and if I can find an insurance plan that will let me keep my current OBGYN, that’d be wonderful. The plan my mom has is too expensive for me to get myself. But my fallback insurance is Medi-Cal, so I’m keeping that in mind as I research. I personally had bad experiences with doctors who accept Medi-Cal, so I hesitate to use it.

Aside from insurance, I’m also looking into the Women, Infants, and Children (WIC) program. Unfortunately, my experience thus far has been…disappointing. I went to the local office during opening hours after work and no one was there. Two other women were standing outside just as perplexed as I was. I called the number to see if anyone would answer, but it went to voicemail after a couple rings. I left a message to schedule my first appointment with them and hope to hear back soon.

Photo by cottonbro on

Not long ago, I also broke down because of stress due to work and my pregnancy. I confided to my husband that I didn’t want to work anymore, at least not as much as I was currently. I told him I wanted to focus on my pregnancy and be able to rest as much as I needed, but was worried about not contributing as much as I could to our family unit. I said I want to primarily be a housewife and be as available for my child as possible. My husband and I talked about homeschooling so I want to be available for that, too.

Because my husband is the amazing person that he is, he hugged me and let me cry on his shoulder, and said we’ll be alright. After getting myself together, he suggested to work something out with my employer. I talked to them the other day and they are willing to keep me on the team and work with me. I’m a reporter for the paper and they’ve been flexible with me in the past when I first realized I was pregnant and dealing with constant vomiting. Essentially, my primary duties now are reporting once every two weeks for a regular council meeting and being free to choose stories at my own leisure as opposed to being assigned to them. I’ll be making much less money, but it’s never about money for me.

Money is definitely important to survive in society, but I don’t want to focus on that everyday. Not that I’ll spend recklessly; I will remain within a certain budget, save, and spend as less as possible. Certain luxuries will have to be put aside, but as long as we have the basics, we’ll be ok. I can only say that because of my faith in God and my husband. There are lots of uncertainties, and I just give them to God and trust He’ll get us through. I don’t always remember and end up dwelling on all the things causing me anxiety and worry. I try to handle it myself and end up breaking down. But every time I talk to my husband about what’s bothering me and take it to prayer, I feel a bit more at peace. Focusing on the positive and tackling my worries becomes a little easier.

Regarding focusing on the positive, there are certain insurances I found during my search that are Christian related. I never knew such a thing existed! Some don’t call themselves “insurance” and instead call themselves “health share” or something similar. It’s an interesting concept and looks promising, so I’m saving information to talk about with my husband and make a decision together. There’s one insurance I have my eye on and am saving information mostly from them. I’m the only one getting insurance until I’m covered by his in a couple years–his workplace doesn’t allow me to be covered yet. And of course, if nothing else, I can fall back on Medi-Cal.

On my to-do list:

  • Finish outstanding tasks for work
  • Stay hydrated
  • Take a shower