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Judgement

I recently was gifted a Costco membership from my in laws. More accurately, my mother in law gave me my grandmother in law’s membership card; she passed away several years ago. I wish I got to meet her. The family talks very highly of her.

So, with this membership card, I’m able to get cheap gas and get bulk items. All good ways to save with a child on the way. I also have an EBT card that is shared between me, my husband, and my dad. For a long while I didn’t use my EBT at Costco.

My reasoning? I would get hardcore judged. But I finally used it the other day and no one batted an eye.

I was suddenly reminded about the verse in the Bible saying judge not, lest you be judged. Here’s the full thing for context:

Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, “Let me take the speck out of your eye,” when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

Matt. 7:1-5

I was doing some more research on these verses in Matthew because I was having a hard time figuring out what Jesus meant here. At first, He seemed to be saying not to judge anyone at all.

But I read it again and realized we are indeed called to judge, but to do so rightly. Doing so without being a hypocrite. Rectify your sins first before trying to rectify others’ sins. The way you judge others is the way God will also judge you.

To put it in real world terms and relating back to my recent trip to Costco, I was afraid I was going to be judged by employees and other customers for using government aid money. It would be hypocritical to judge me as such because many people receive government assistance in one form or another. The stimulus checks, for example. Disability aid. MediCal, Medicare, Medicaid. Veteran’s aid. WiC. And so, my fear dissipated.

That’s not to say that people may not be silently judging me. But going back to the Bible and knowing that Jesus commands us to judge rightly, if I were judged during my shopping trip, I know it was a hypocrital judgement. And so, I shouldn’t worry. Hope this all makes sense.

I want to instill in my child a sense of right and wrong–as most parents want. I want to teach them that there is sin in the world and we are to recognize and judge it rightly, and to avoid it as much as humanly possible. Of course, being human, it is inevitable that we will sin, but God’s mercy is never ending and I want my child to understand this too. No matter how many times we fall, God is always there to pick us up.

Genesis

The word genesis means the origin or coming into being of something (Merriam-Webster). That’s what this post is about: the origin, or genesis, of my life as a married woman and mom!

Let’s back peddle a little bit. When I was younger, I didn’t want kids. Ever. Wasn’t even sure I wanted to get married. I had a crush on this boy but he seemed way out of my league, and no one else quite intrigued me like he did. He and I were friends and talked off and on.

This boy and I grew up and somehow our relationship developed into something new during our early adulthood. A night under the stars prompted “I love you” from him and I was shocked, ecstatic…scared. Was this God’s way of saying no one else will do? Was he giving me my childhood crush, or was I imagining things?

Fast forward to April 2017 and we’re dating. We’re figuring each other out. What makes us tick, what we love, how to improve bad habits. As time went on I was certain he was the one. We talked about our faiths, what we wanted for ourselves and for potential children. And suddenly, having children and getting married was something I wanted more and more.

February 1, 2020 and we’re engaged. December 5, 2020 and we’re married. Some time in January 2021 we’re pregnant; I’m 16 weeks along as of this post!

A lot of people we know commented on how fast we got to this point. They were surprised that we were pregnant after only one month of marriage. But we have known each other for so long and we’ve gotten so comfortable around each other that we were just like, why wait?

We’re so excited for our baby to be born. Husband is hoping for a boy, and I’m leaning toward a girl, but we’ll be happy no matter what God blesses us with. I’m thinking about baby clothes and other items, how to prepare for my hospital trip when I go into labor, and thinking about finances. I’m grinning at my growing belly and happy I’m gaining weight. I’m excited to wear a mom shirt I bought a couple months ago that’ll highlight my belly.

My body is working so hard to grow this baby and I’m trying to enjoy it while coping with nausea and fatigue. Thankfully I’m no longer as nauseous or vomiting in the second trimester! Now I’m hungry and tired all the time and my emotions are heightened. Husband is extra worried about my food intake and tries hard to help me make healthy choices. I’m not the healthiest eater, but I’m not eating junk all the time like I used to.

On my to-do list

  • Call OBGYN to schedule a checkup
  • Take it easy
  • Pray