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My baby is 9 months old

Dear readers, my son is 9 months and thriving! His pediatrician says everything is on track for him and he’s at a healthy weight. We are struggling with a couple things, though. He is teething, which means less sleep for all of us, and waking up in the middle of the night; and, my neurological issue by the name of misophonia is making it difficult to be the mom I want to be.

Misophonia is a strong reaction to specific sounds. Misophonia may cause a reaction to sounds such as dripping water, chewing, snapping gum, or repetitive noises, such as pencil tapping. People with misophonia can become irritated, enraged, or even panicked when they hear their trigger sounds.

I’ve often heard people in misophonia Facebook groups say that neither babies nor animals trigger them. It’s because they can’t help it, and makes it easy to just ignore. For me, this is not the case.


When baby was just an infant, nothing he did triggered me–audially that is. I talk about textile issues in an earlier post. Now that he’s 9 months old, he’s started making sounds that send me into a rage. Allow me to be clear right now that I don’t harm my baby in any way when I am triggered.


Ever since he was about 5 months, he was teething. His front bottom two teeth came in, and now his top two are showing. He will grind them together and make other mouth sounds that I can’t stand. I won’t attempt to describe it. Feeding him is slightly difficult now too, as he will make loud gulping noises. Picking up leftover food grosses me out as well.


It’s all been very tiring. He is having trouble sleeping because of his teething. He wakes up in the middle of the night wanting comfort because his gums hurt, which messes up our sleep schedules and makes me grumpier and more prone to being triggered during the day.


He’s also learning to stand and gets mad because he can’t figure out how to lower himself down without falling. I’m trying my best to help him while also allowing him the opportunity to do it himself. He needs a lot more comfort from me and attention than normal. Independent play is harder for him than it usually was.


I find myself putting him in his crib and walking away to calm down a lot more often. Thankfully, he likes being in his crib and will entertain himself in there for a little while as I calm down.


If there’s anything I can’t relate to, it’s the phrase, “You’re going to miss this, cherish him while he’s little!” I do love my adorable little baby as he is but am excited to see him grow and learn and be able to communicate with me. And I know it will be hard when he develops his own ego, goes through his emotions and figures them out, and whatever else he’ll go through. But I’m looking forward to teaching him and letting him decide things on his own, within reason, until he’s an adult. I want to tell him about misophonia and what it is, and what he can do to help me, because right now he doesn’t know or understand, and I want so badly to just tell him.


I am trying to enjoy the little things as they happen. The milestones he reaches, his laughs, capturing memories on camera–I have over 500 pictures of and with him! Those, and my husband and family’s help, keep me going. I don’t know how I would have turned out as a mom without them.

To my son

On September 25, 2021, I gave birth to a 6 lb baby boy. My first child.

On March 25, 2022 he turned 6 months old. He barely fit into any of his clothes, and then one day, he outgrew half of them.

I realized I didn’t want to do anything that kept me away from you, so I decided to be a full time stay at home mom. I didn’t know what love between a mom and a child was until I made that decision. I’m fortunate to even have that decision to make. My bond with you only continues to grow.

Jared, you’re half a year old already. I’m excited to be present for your milestones and help you be the best you can be. Keep growing, learning, laughing, and smiling.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

When the Pregnancy High Wore Off

Dear readers,

In 2021, I learned I was pregnant. I was excited, anxious, and embracing the changes my body was going through. Being known as “mommy” was something I simultaneously craved and felt weirded out by. My emotions were–and still are–all over the place. But the high I felt while pregnant was all over by the time my little one was home with my husband and I for 24 hours.

I have a condition known as misophonia, which in simple terms is the hatred of specific sounds. The person suffering from this becomes irrationally angry when hearing a sound most people can filter out and think nothing about. I’ve suffered with this my whole life, but when I gave birth, it was the least of my problems.

There were days when I was more sensitive to my condition than others, but I was more focused on dealing with morning sickness, sciatica, and the constant kicking of the child in my womb. I pretty much vomited throughout my pregnancy and grew very sensitive to car movement. Car sickness was a regular occurrence.

I gave birth late September 2021. There were hardly any times when my misophonia was an issue. I guess I was in too much pain to really care. I did not get an epidural and gave birth naturally. I only took Motrin from time to time and was injected with morphine during the last stretch.

I was in labor for 24 hours. I pushed five times when the time came, and my baby was out. It hurt like hell. But baby had arrived and I experienced temporary relief.

I was determined to breastfeed. I wanted to give my baby optimal nutrition. But my sensory issues had other plans.

I was two weeks in to breastfeeding and I quit. My sensory issues didn’t let me do what I wanted to do for my baby. During this time, I didn’t feel human. Every time my baby breast fed, I wanted to rip my skin off. Every time my baby touched my breasts, I wanted to die. I hated myself, my life, and almost seriously considered giving my baby up to someone else.

I switched to formula after a huge meltdown in front of my husband, who didn’t realize how bad breastfeeding was treating me. He wanted me to transition slowly but I just couldn’t. I needed to stop NOW, or I’d drive myself off a cliff. I don’t think I was kidding. I was that desperate. Like I mentioned earlier. I don’t think misophonia was my biggest problem anymore.

Along with those feelings, I also couldn’t hold my baby for long periods of time. If I did, I’d get severely overwhelmed and my husband would have to step in. That’s how bad my sensory issues are. Touch is difficult for me, and all of that touching and stimulation from breastfeeding was making me go insane. Eventually, my husband did practically all the holding. Even now, though I’m a lot better, he holds the baby often. My doctor diagnosed me with PPD/PPA and upped my medication dose.

As the weeks turned into months, coping with misophonia while also caring for a child was proving to be rather difficult. Now that I wasn’t breastfeeding and hating myself all the time, misophonia became my primary issue again. The headphones that I used before baby were no longer practical. They were huge, needed some maintenance which was giving me trouble, and most importantly, would be a baby hazard eventually. They frequently slipped, sometimes off my head, and I didn’t want it to slip and fall on the baby. I didn’t have time to try fixing the headphones and trying to make the bulkiness work.

This means I mostly did without headphones. Sometimes this was fine, as I spent most of my days in my room or another room away from my triggering family member that lives with my husband and I. But there were days when I couldn’t avoid it and I was raging internally while making a bottle of formula.

Late February of this year, I invested in good quality, noise cancelling earbuds. I was going crazy not being able to drown out the noise around me as much as I wanted to. I got a refurbished pair of Bose earbuds. They’re only slightly uncomfortable, but ultimately very much worth the price. I put them in, play some white noise, and that’s all I hear. I can also listen to my favorite podcasts again without worrying about bulkiness, slipping, or baby trying to grab.

At the time this was written, baby was 4 months, almost 5, and is growing so well. Baby reached all kinds of milestones. Baby is learning to make me and my husband laugh by doing certain things. Baby is well loved and my husband and I have lots of support. It’s hard to focus on that when I have depressive/anxious episodes. Not long ago, I was crying in the middle of the night just from being generally overwhelmed. I have zero time to myself a lot of the time, or if I have a break from the baby, I need to spend that break doing chores around the house. This was stressful for me when I was still working. So I made a huge decision.

I decided to quit my job right after my husband also quit his job to go to school and get a better, enjoyable job. I decided I needed to spend my time at home with my baby and focus on housework. AKA, I decided to embrace the homemaker life.

I loved my job. It was run by a great boss, I had great coworkers and got so much help and leeway. But I decided having a job right now was not my calling. Now all I have to worry about is the home, my baby, and my husband. While I was working, I had to think about that along with who I was going to ask to watch my baby for several hours, wake up with enough time to get to said family member’s house and get to work on time, and keep an ear out for my phone in case the person watching baby needs me to pick him up early.

Being a working mom was never something I wanted, but I read about all these working moms, or have friends with kids who are working and seem to have it together, so I thought I could do it too. But I hated it. I hated being away from my baby for so long. I hated barely having time for myself, let alone looking presentable for the workplace. I’m fortunate I even have the choice of being a homemaker, because I’m sure there are moms out there who prefer that, but have to work. Sometimes I feel bad for even having a choice.

Despite how bad my sensory issues are and my misophonia, I can’t seem to be away from baby for long periods of time. My husband will always offer me opportunities to get out of the house and I almost always turn them down. I actually want to stay home. It’s…strange. But somehow feels right. It’s not that I don’t want to see friends, cause I do. But I just have different priorities.

All of this to say, I love my baby. I’m excited to watch him grow.


Late March 2022 – Baby is now 6 months and can turn onto his back and tummy. His favorite animal is monkeys. He smiles and laughs almost every time I look at him. He loves being tickled by me and my husband. He’s learned that he can play independently and is fully sleep trained. He’s learning to hold himself up. He loves bath time. He doesn’t like new faces and only feels safe with me and my husband, perhaps with my dad as well.

I was in a very bad mental place for a long time. I couldn’t even go to mass or confession because I was exhausted 24/7. I had frequent nightmares about my baby dying or people threatening the well-being of my baby. I once woke up clutching my husband and to the sound of him saying “You’re ok, you’re ok”.

When I did finally go to confession, I wept. When I went to mass for the first time in a long time and was able to receive communion, it was like a darkness was lifted from my mind. I still can’t go to mass a lot of times, especially now with baby’s fear of strangers because he’ll cry and be miserable for an hour. But I do want to make more of an effort to go. I want him to get used to the church, to mass, to me receiving communion. I want him to ask questions when he’s older, to be curious about Catholicism. I want–rather, I need–the grace and guidance from the Holy Spirit to be able to guide him in the right direction.

I am so glad the darkness was lifted. I am so glad I didn’t give my baby away. I’m glad I quit my job and can be with my baby. I’m so, so blessed, and so thankful.

I look forward to teaching baby everything I know about life. I finally feel like a mom. I know I can do this.

Moving Forward

Dear readers,

Today, my husband and I looked at several joint bank account options since he had a day off from work. After doing some research and considering our options together, we have chosen one!

We haven’t done anything yet because my husband’s updated driver’s license hasn’t come in yet. At least we have a bank to apply to when it does arrive.

We also looked in to a spousal IRA as well as a savings account. If I remember correctly, these things are different. Haven’t applied to either of them yet because I believe we’d need my husband’s driver’s license for that too. But I’m excited to start!

It’s all so surreal to me even though we’ve been married for five months. Having a child, joint account, thinking about investment and budgeting…my brain can’t wrap itself around numbers very well, but my husband is fantastic with them. He can also read super fast and summarize things really well. It’s so nice to have him help in that aspect. I think I would be very lost and confused without him around.

I have a checkup with my OBGYN tomorrow afternoon. I hope I’ll find out my baby’s sex and prepare clothes, baby shower, etc. accordingly. After that, I’ll switch to my Medi-Cal insurance because that’s just the most cost effective option right now. If my current OBGYN accepted Medi-Cal, that would be awesome but they don’t. They suggested I find someone else before my insurance runs out–as I’m on my mom’s and can’t afford it myself when I’m kicked off after turning 26–so I can get the rest of my prenatal care taken care of.

Despite my negative experiences with Medi-Cal in the past, I don’t have a choice. It’s either spend a fortune my husband and I can’t afford, or this. The Christian Healthcare I was looking at is also just too much for us right now. I just hope and pray I’ll get good people to help me along this journey. Once I’m eligible to be covered under my husband’s work insurance, that’ll be great. I just wish it wasn’t some time after giving birth. However, the best thing I can do is offer my worries about this to God and trust that He’s got me; that I’ll be ok.

Hear, O Lord, my voice, with which I have cried to thee: have mercy on me and hear me. My heart hath said to thee: My face hath sought thee: thy face, O Lord, will I still seek. Turn not away thy face from me; decline not in thy wrath from thy servant. Be thou my helper, forsake me not; do not thou despise me, O God my Saviour.

Ps 27:7-9 (Douay Rheims)

My first Mother’s Day

Dear readers,

Today is Mother’s Day! Wow! I never thought I’d be on the receiving end of well wishes and gifts from loved ones. My husband bought me a beautiful bouquet of flowers in honor of this special day.

It still feels so unreal to me. I can’t believe I’m pregnant! I’m almost 19 weeks along and my belly has steadily gotten larger. I love it so much. My husband comments on and kisses my belly daily.

Please keep us in your prayers, that our child will be born healthy and I make good decisions regarding my own health. Pray that whatever obstacles we may face, especially financial ones, that we can overcome them and budget wisely. And especially pray that our little one will live a Christ-centered life, and that we can nurture that properly within them. Thank you.

My next OBGYN appointment is this week. I think that is the day we find out the baby’s sex! I am so excited and hope that’s the case. I’ll post an update once the appointment is over, perhaps my next steps as well. Until then, Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers; you are in my prayers.

A Mother’s Day Prayer

Loving God,

You have loved us with an everlasting love (Jer 31:3)

You have loved us even more as a mother loved her child.

Today, we give you thanks and praise for the gift of mothers.

We pray for the mothers-to-be,

who are just beginning to be the bearers of new life in them,

may they welcome their forthcoming child with loving anticipation and joy.

We pray for the young mothers,

may they cherish their child with tender care and unconditional love.

We pray for the mothers who are separated from their children especially because of the COVID-19 Pandemic and because of war, poverty, conflict, violence and for any other reasons

Comfort them, strengthen their hope, and let them feel your loving embrace that wipes every tear away.

We pray for all Mother-figures,

those who have loved, surrounded and shaped us with motherly care and compassion.

We especially pray for our own mothers who have nurtured and cared for us,

Their sacrifices and care gave us a glimpse of the extent of your love for us.

Thank you for them.

Grant health, blessings, and well-being for those our mothers who are still alive.

We also remember those mothers who are no longer with us.

While they live forever in our hearts and memory grant them eternal rest and reward of their labors.

Amen.

Sunday Readings – May 9, 2021

Sixth Sunday of Easter

Reading I

Acts 10:25-26, 34-35, 44-48

When Peter entered, Cornelius met him
and, falling at his feet, paid him homage.
Peter, however, raised him up, saying,
“Get up. I myself am also a human being.”

Then Peter proceeded to speak and said,
“In truth, I see that God shows no partiality.
Rather, in every nation whoever fears him and acts uprightly
is acceptable to him.”

While Peter was still speaking these things,
the Holy Spirit fell upon all who were listening to the word.
The circumcised believers who had accompanied Peter
were astounded that the gift of the Holy Spirit
should have been poured out on the Gentiles also,
for they could hear them speaking in tongues and glorifying God.
Then Peter responded,
“Can anyone withhold the water for baptizing these people,
who have received the Holy Spirit even as we have?”
He ordered them to be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ.

Responsorial Psalm

98:1, 2-3, 3-4

R. (cf. 2b) The Lord has revealed to the nations his saving power.
or:
R. Alleluia.
Sing to the LORD a new song,
    for he has done wondrous deeds;
His right hand has won victory for him,
    his holy arm.
R. The Lord has revealed to the nations his saving power.
or:
R. Alleluia.
The LORD has made his salvation known:
    in the sight of the nations he has revealed his justice.
He has remembered his kindness and his faithfulness
    toward the house of Israel.
R. The Lord has revealed to the nations his saving power.
or:
R. Alleluia.
All the ends of the earth have seen
    the salvation by our God.
Sing joyfully to the LORD, all you lands;
    break into song; sing praise.
R. The Lord has revealed to the nations his saving power.
or:
R. Alleluia.

Reading II

1 Jn 4:7-10

Beloved, let us love one another,
because love is of God;
everyone who loves is begotten by God and knows God.
Whoever is without love does not know God, for God is love.
In this way the love of God was revealed to us:
God sent his only Son into the world
so that we might have life through him.
In this is love:
not that we have loved God, but that he loved us
and sent his Son as expiation for our sins.

Alleluia

Jn 14:23

R. Alleluia, alleluia.
Whoever loves me will keep my word, says the Lord,
and my Father will love him and we will come to him.
R. Alleluia, alleluia.

Gospel

Jn 15:9-17

Jesus said to his disciples:
“As the Father loves me, so I also love you.
Remain in my love.
If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love,
just as I have kept my Father’s commandments
and remain in his love.

“I have told you this so that my joy may be in you
and your joy might be complete.
This is my commandment: love one another as I love you.
No one has greater love than this,
to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
You are my friends if you do what I command you.
I no longer call you slaves,
because a slave does not know what his master is doing.
I have called you friends,
because I have told you everything I have heard from my Father.
It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you
and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain,
so that whatever you ask the Father in my name he may give you.
This I command you: love one another.”

From USCCB

Book Report Series -1984

In an effort to read more and spend less time on social media, I’ll be reading a book I’ve had my eye on since high school: 1984.

I hear nothing but good things about it, so I’m excited to sit down and dedicate some time to it everyday. I enjoyed book reports so much in school because I loved reading. I don’t know what happened as I got older, but I want to rekindle that love for books I had back then. I want to start now before my baby is born so I can show them my favorite books and get them excited about reading.

Hope you enjoy this new kind of blog post! Feel free to do your own book report on your favorite book, or help your kids — if that applies to you — do one of their own.

Questions to consider before reading:


What is the book about?

It is 40 years after the second world war. The story takes place in an imagined future where much of the world has fallen victim to perpetual war, omnipresent government surveillance, historical negationism (or denialism), and propaganda.

What genre does this book fit into?

Dystopian social science fiction.

In what time and place is the book set?

1984, in Great Britain, known as Airstrip One in the novel.

Who is the intended audience of the book?

Young adults and older.

Is the book appropriate for that audience?

Yes; the reading material is graphic in some parts, so any age group can get disturbed.

Should this book come with any content warnings?

Yes. The book contains complicated social themes, violence, and sex.

Additional questions to promote discussion (optional):

1) What was happening in the world in the late 40s when the book was written?
2) Why did Orwell write this, do you think?
3) What do you think the story is going to be like, based on what you already know?

My goal is to read 10 pages a day. If I want to read more, then I will. I’ll see you all soon!


2021-07-04T23:59:00

  days

  hours  minutes  seconds

until

Finish 1984

Anxiety

I didn’t know insurance could be so difficult to navigate through. In the past few days I’ve been scrambling to find an insurance plan that won’t break the bank and cover my prenatal/postnatal care. A lot of websites require a phone number to get a call from someone to talk about the plan and get a free quote. As someone who suffers from anxiety, this is less than ideal. I’ve been avoiding calls for the past three days from “spammers”, according to my caller ID app.

I’m off my mom’s insurance this July when I turn 26, and if I can find an insurance plan that will let me keep my current OBGYN, that’d be wonderful. The plan my mom has is too expensive for me to get myself. But my fallback insurance is Medi-Cal, so I’m keeping that in mind as I research. I personally had bad experiences with doctors who accept Medi-Cal, so I hesitate to use it.

Aside from insurance, I’m also looking into the Women, Infants, and Children (WIC) program. Unfortunately, my experience thus far has been…disappointing. I went to the local office during opening hours after work and no one was there. Two other women were standing outside just as perplexed as I was. I called the number to see if anyone would answer, but it went to voicemail after a couple rings. I left a message to schedule my first appointment with them and hope to hear back soon.

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Not long ago, I also broke down because of stress due to work and my pregnancy. I confided to my husband that I didn’t want to work anymore, at least not as much as I was currently. I told him I wanted to focus on my pregnancy and be able to rest as much as I needed, but was worried about not contributing as much as I could to our family unit. I said I want to primarily be a housewife and be as available for my child as possible. My husband and I talked about homeschooling so I want to be available for that, too.

Because my husband is the amazing person that he is, he hugged me and let me cry on his shoulder, and said we’ll be alright. After getting myself together, he suggested to work something out with my employer. I talked to them the other day and they are willing to keep me on the team and work with me. I’m a reporter for the paper and they’ve been flexible with me in the past when I first realized I was pregnant and dealing with constant vomiting. Essentially, my primary duties now are reporting once every two weeks for a regular council meeting and being free to choose stories at my own leisure as opposed to being assigned to them. I’ll be making much less money, but it’s never about money for me.

Money is definitely important to survive in society, but I don’t want to focus on that everyday. Not that I’ll spend recklessly; I will remain within a certain budget, save, and spend as less as possible. Certain luxuries will have to be put aside, but as long as we have the basics, we’ll be ok. I can only say that because of my faith in God and my husband. There are lots of uncertainties, and I just give them to God and trust He’ll get us through. I don’t always remember and end up dwelling on all the things causing me anxiety and worry. I try to handle it myself and end up breaking down. But every time I talk to my husband about what’s bothering me and take it to prayer, I feel a bit more at peace. Focusing on the positive and tackling my worries becomes a little easier.

Regarding focusing on the positive, there are certain insurances I found during my search that are Christian related. I never knew such a thing existed! Some don’t call themselves “insurance” and instead call themselves “health share” or something similar. It’s an interesting concept and looks promising, so I’m saving information to talk about with my husband and make a decision together. There’s one insurance I have my eye on and am saving information mostly from them. I’m the only one getting insurance until I’m covered by his in a couple years–his workplace doesn’t allow me to be covered yet. And of course, if nothing else, I can fall back on Medi-Cal.

On my to-do list:

  • Finish outstanding tasks for work
  • Stay hydrated
  • Take a shower

Unbreakable

A reflection on being unbreakable

Not too long ago, I attended a Zoom webinar put on by the San Diego Roman Catholic Diocese where a New Orleans priest gave a talk on the theme “Unbreakable”. His name is Fr. Tony Picard. I’ve heard him speak before and loved every minute of it, so I was very excited about this webinar featuring him. For free, even! Events like these usually cost money so I feel very blessed to have been able to attend. I gained a lot of insight and had lots
of laughs.

Fr. Tony’s talk focused on how we go through so many hardships in life, but we’re still here. He emphasized this phrase: “Because I know there is a God, I’ll be alright.” He talked about the devastating Hurricane Katrina and how it impacted his life and ministry. He talked about COVID-19 and how people like himself and others had to adapt to using more technology to connect with people. Despite everything he’s gone through in life, he’s still here.

Fr. Tony said that the struggles we go through in life will bend us, but never break us. If we trust in God, we are unbreakable. Because we know there is a God, we’ll be alright. As this is also the month of St. Joseph–he called him Blessed St. Joseph–Fr. Tony talked about how Joseph was a just man, and right with God. Every time he received God’s message through a dream, he followed through with it. He played a huge part in keeping the family safe.

Photo by Anne McCarthy on Pexels.com

I began with this because I often feel so broken. I sin, I confess, I do well in not sinning, and fail again. I feel like I’ve fallen so many times that I must have fractured something. Something has to be broken. But after tuning in to Fr. Tony’s talk, I realized that I’m not broken. I’ve just been bent. Because I know there is a God, I’ll be alright. I can’t break if God is on my side. It sounds cheesy, but it’s true. And I haven’t truly given it thought
until now.

I think it’s safe to say that we all fall into sin. The problem, I think, is that we forget God’s mercy. We forget He loves us and is on our side. I struggle with a recurring sin, and for as long as I can remember, that particular sin kept me away from confession, and hatred and disgust for myself grew. I didn’t want to seem as though I wasn’t growing as a person of holiness and confess the same sin all the time. My reluctance to confess didn’t help any.

Married and pregnant, I want to show my child that no matter how many times we fall, God will be there. No matter how many times we bend, we’ll never break. If we keep the Lord in our sight, we’ll be alright. I don’t want my child to believe they’re disgusting or hate themselves the way I did for many years. It’s my hope that I can prevent that from happening as much as possible. They’ll struggle, but if I can help them find inner peace sooner, I’ll be happy.

Sunday Readings for April 25, 2021

From USCCB

Reading I

Acts 4:8-12

Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said:
“Leaders of the people and elders:
If we are being examined today
about a good deed done to a cripple,
namely, by what means he was saved,
then all of you and all the people of Israel should know
that it was in the name of Jesus Christ the Nazorean
whom you crucified, whom God raised from the dead;
in his name this man stands before you healed.
He is the stone rejected by you, the builders,
    which has become the cornerstone.
There is no salvation through anyone else,
nor is there any other name under heaven
given to the human race by which we are to be saved.”

Responsorial Psalm

118:1, 8-9, 21-23, 26, 28, 29
R.  The stone rejected by the builders has become the cornerstone.
or:
R.  Alleluia.
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good,
    for his mercy endures forever.
It is better to take refuge in the LORD
    than to trust in man.
It is better to take refuge in the LORD
    than to trust in princes.
R.  The stone rejected by the builders has become the cornerstone.
or:
R. Alleluia.
I will give thanks to you, for you have answered me
    and have been my savior.
The stone which the builders rejected
    has become the cornerstone.
By the LORD has this been done;
    it is wonderful in our eyes.
R. The stone rejected by the builders has become the cornerstone.
or:
R. Alleluia.
Blessed is he who comes in the name of the LORD;
    we bless you from the house of the LORD.
I will give thanks to you, for you have answered me
    and have been my savior.
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
    for his kindness endures forever.
R. The stone rejected by the builders has become the cornerstone.
or:
R. Alleluia.

Reading II

1 Jn 3:1-2

Beloved:
See what love the Father has bestowed on us
that we may be called the children of God.
Yet so we are.
The reason the world does not know us
is that it did not know him.
Beloved, we are God’s children now;
what we shall be has not yet been revealed.
We do know that when it is revealed we shall be like him,
for we shall see him as he is.

Alleluia
Jn 10:14
R. Alleluia, alleluia.
I am the good shepherd, says the Lord;
I know my sheep, and mine know me.
R. Alleluia, alleluia.

Gospel

Jn 10:11-18

Jesus said:
“I am the good shepherd.
A good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.
A hired man, who is not a shepherd
and whose sheep are not his own,
sees a wolf coming and leaves the sheep and runs away,
and the wolf catches and scatters them.
This is because he works for pay and has no concern for the sheep.
I am the good shepherd,
and I know mine and mine know me,
just as the Father knows me and I know the Father;
and I will lay down my life for the sheep.
I have other sheep that do not belong to this fold.
These also I must lead, and they will hear my voice,
and there will be one flock, one shepherd.
This is why the Father loves me,
because I lay down my life in order to take it up again.
No one takes it from me, but I lay it down on my own.
I have power to lay it down, and power to take it up again.
This command I have received from my Father.”